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That’s me. Seriously. The worst.  My son is at that stage where kids are losing teeth right and left. Blood stains all over the house, his face looks different every time you see him and there never seem to be enough dollar bills at my disposal. Half the time I forget there’s even a tooth waiting for me under the pillow, so the next morning he comes out with this sad little face and a pitiful lonely tooth in his hand rather than the dollar he was expecting (and what’s up with that!? I got a quarter! Stinking inflation!)

The first time I forgot about his tooth I completely screwed myself too because I told him that the tooth fairy was just on vacation and it was okay because you get double when she doesn’t show up. I said this of course assuming that I would get my act together and remember from now own. He has now gotten paid double for four teeth and has more spending money than I do!

The other day he yanked one out at church (not at all distracting the people sitting behind us). Somewhere between there and home he lost it. I told him it was tough luck and that the tooth fairy had to have something substantial to trade. He put this note under his pillow that says,

Dear Tooth Fairy

I lost my tooth at church. I hope you can still give me a little treat.

Love, Liam

How sweet is that?! How could I say no to that?! So I made a deal with him. I told him the tooth fairy could give half in exchange for the note. He gladly accepted, telling me that since the tooth fairy was two days late he would get half times three, giving him $1.50 for his note. I feel so swindled.

He knows it’s me too. He doesn’t believe at all that there’s a fairy who comes at night and swaps out his nasty old tooth for cash. He just blandly goes along with it, humoring me in this condescending way that only a seven–almost eight–year-old can have. I know this because he’ll say something like, “hey mom, you forgot again–oh, I mean, the tooth fairy forgot again. Too bad for her she has to pay double!” What was I thinking!? I wasn’t thinking–I was surviving, and sometimes the survival instinct misses the little details that get you in the end.

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