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Posts Tagged ‘culture’

. . . . Nonsense (click the link, watch the annoying video)

This popped up in my Facebook feed and I just had to soapbox about it for a minute because that video annoys me on so many levels.

If you managed to steel yourself through the entire 2:07 of her bored, superior, and demanding rant, then you probably don’t even need me to tell you why it annoys me. It’s not just because I have a husband with an AWESOME beard and she’s stepping on those toes. I understand preferences, and if you are a woman who doesn’t like beards, I have nothing at all against you. It’s just her whole tone and attitude.

This video is a perfect example of the way women in our culture emasculate and disrespect men. With her controlling “i don’t care what you want, give me what I want,” attitude, and her mocking, “you’re a caveman if you have a beard,” assumptions, she’s probably looking for something like this or maybe this. Maybe she’s really close to her baby brother and wants a man boy that reminds her of him. I don’t know.   Don’t even get me started on the whole witholding posture of “if you want my kisses you have to do what I say.” Ugh. This whole thing is just classic modern American culture bullshit.

I love me some Andy with a beard. I didn’t always. When we were first married, he had a scruffy little “soul patch” and  we often disagreed over his itchy, stubbly facial hair. I remember different seasons of his early beardedness in which I suffered from “face rash” if we made out. LOL! There were times I asked him to shave it, and he did, but I came to realize that it was important to him. It was a choice he wanted to make for himself concerning his appearance. So I learned to live with it. Not because I’m some amazing, self sacrificing wife and not because I’m a door mat and he said “deal with it woman!” I learned to live with it because THAT’s WHAT YOU DO in relationships. You give sometimes. The only thing this woman gives is no room for a man to have any say about his own appearance. For her, and many young women in our culture, it’s her way only and he’s a neanderthal fool if he doesn’t step into her line. It’s just so sad. I kept wanting to yell at the screen, “Back off bitch and let him be a MAN!”

These days, Andy’s beard is one of my favorite things about his face. I don’t want to make my kind readers uncomfortable with TMI, but in regards to the video, I love the feel of his beard in my hands, on my face, and I LOVE kissing him with his beard. That’s part of the experience of being loved by my man. It’s comfortable and comforting and so much a part of him that I can’t imagine asking, much less TELLING him to change.

She can have her androgynous, pansy boys, but I doubt they’ll make her any less unpleasant, or any more satisfied.

PS. If you are a man with a clean shaven face, please know that I am not calling you or your other clean shaven brothers pansies or androgynous. I know many attractive, manly men who don’t have a stitch of hair on their face. That’s not the point. My commentary is about this woman’s attitude, and the attitudes of other women like her that are negatively affecting relationships and men in our culture.

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. . . . wearing my seven year old’s GAP hoodie.

You got a problem with that?

(photo courtesy of Gillian Martin)

It actually started out with me being silly. There were a couple of teenagers over here and we were joking around. I put on Liam’s hoodie and was like, “hey, I could do this!” One of the girls was like, “yeah, you could totally wear that!” I figure if a teenager tells me it’s cool, it MUST be, right???

Then again, she could have just said that to see if I’d be weird enough to actually do it and now they’re both having a nice laugh at my expense.

 

Oh well.

 

 

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Liam: I love it when it’s buttoned.

Gillian: I hate it when it’s buttoned.

L: I Love it.

G: I Hate it.

L: Love it.

G: Hate it.

L: LOVE IT!

G: HATE IT!

L: LOVE!

G: HATE!

(Then, simultaneously . . . )

L&G: Love, hate, love, hate, love, hate, love, hate, love, hate . . . . . . .

(And I do believe it would have gone on ad infinitum had I not in my most patient, tender, and affectionately motherly voice asked them to please stop.)

SERIOUSLY?!?! Did that really just happen!?

I thought that only happened in movies with annoying kids who live in the suburbs, where the parents are morons,  the bad guys idiots, the pets talk and the twelve year olds fall in love and have their first kiss. Oh, it’s gonna be a long day.

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Remember being a teenager and doing something just a little bit dangerous, a little bit bit forbidden? I’m not talking about something sinful or illegal, just something your parents probably wouldn’t let you do because something COULD happen, or because  (own it moms and dads both new and old) it just might have made them look bad? The excitement, the “oh, what if we get caught” feeling,  the freaky sensation that when something goes a little wrong it’s some sort of sign from God that you’re doing something REALLY bad? I had just such an evening the other night with my friend Tab.

We were out in good ol’ TR (that’s Traveler’s Rest, SC for you non-locals) visiting another friend from our shepherding group. Earlier that day we’d been driving through there on our way home from Hendersonville and I missed my turn back toward G-ville. When I turned  around at a gas station, we noticed an abandoned building with TONS of pallets piled all around. Both of us being addicted to Pinterest right now gasped audibly and immediately began to visualize all of the pallet projects we’d recently pinned. We looked at each other excitedly, both obviously salivating. We made all the necessary justifications about the abandoned building and how the pallets clearly couldn’t have been wanted, so it wasn’t really stealing and on and on, planning to come back that night and swipe a few.

That night we ended up leaving our friend’s house much later than planned and it was after midnight by the time we pulled up to the abandoned building and the treasure trove of precious pallets. Now I could have been a better friend when Tab mentioned that it probably wasn’t too terribly safe to be doing this in the middle of the night, but I’ve never had a really good grasp of real and present danger, so instead I was the “oh, don’t be such a ninny” friend who pushes everyone into trouble, and I was driving, so poor Tab had no choice!

It’s so funny how during the day it seamed like a harmless and simple boarded up building, merely a backdrop for the stuff of a DIY girl’s dreams. At night however, the place became this menacing hideout for all manner of unsavory characters, the woods behind loomed ferociously, surely housing poised and violent mountain men, and the gas station lights shone, seemingly fully lit, yet not a soul was anywhere to be seen. Our nervous giggles and racing hearts had started up several miles back. (I’m trying to not think about how unexciting this makes my life sound). Now, I don’t want to throw Tab under the bus, but she was freaking out a little by this point. I pretended to remain cool and calm, refusing to let irrational fears rob me of my intended reading nook or bookshelves. (Seriously, how CUTE are those?!)

So yeah, I was all, “oh Tab, stop worrying, it’s no big deal.” Then my car started making this weird noise. Out of no where, the breaks or something start screeching. Tab’s like, “it’s a sign Beth!” I didn’t listen. I pulled up to a pile of pallets, already rehearsing my speech to the police officer that I was now imagining pulling up any moment. “Honestly officer, I was just going to take a couple for some home decorating! Have you ever heard of Pinterest, Sir?” Then my flashlight wouldn’t turn on. “Another sign!” from Tab. I still didn’t listen. I was determined to get my pallets! I grabbed hold of one and tipped it up to carry it to my van. Of course . . . bugs! There goes my cool. There goes my resolve. (hm, let’s see, what’s more dangerous, creepy people or creepy bugs? Here’s where I join Tab under the proverbial bus.) Stinking bugs! So much for my tough guy act.  I can’t put those in my car! Jump back in the van. Maybe there’s a cleaner pile on the other side. Tab’s like, “really!? are we still here?!”

So we pulled around and I was about to try again when we glanced up at the gas station. The EMPTY gas station. The “we were 100% certain there wasn’t a single person there” gas station. There was this motorcycle sitting there at the door–with no one on it. Just sitting there. Tab’s like, “I KNOW that wasn’t there a few minutes ago,” but we hadn’t heard it pull up at all. It was one of those moments when those little alarm bells that have been slightly tinkling for a while start ringing out in earnest. It was totally creepy. “Okay, let’s go” I say and Tab’s like, “finally!” We were well into Greer before the creepy feeling went away and the remorse set in at not getting our pallets. Oh, but it was so much fun for this mommy of three, so often house bound, whose most adventuresome days are made up of killing spiders in the bathroom and chasing the toddler who got out of the back yard gate yet again.

Maybe you’re thinking it serves us right for planning to “steal” pallets that weren’t ours to take. Maybe you’re thinking “what’s the big deal?” Maybe you’re thinking I need to carry a gun in my car (Dad). I’m thinking that I’m totally thankful for unexpected adventures, for moments that make me feel young again, and for awesome friends to share them with.  . . . . . And I’m still looking for pallets.

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The Next Series

Well, I finished my re-watch of Star Trek The Next Generation. All SEVEN seasons!  I think I drove Andy crazy with all my references to warp nacells (sp?) and space anomalies. It was fun to see a couple of episodes in the final season that I didn’t see as a teenager due obviously to the fact that I was getting too cool for Star Trek and didn’t watch it all the time. The acting seemed really bad at first (aside from Picard), but I sort of got used to it. Well, now it’s over and I’m going through my typical end of series melancholy. I get that way at the end of things. See, when I get into a story, I lock down into it and I’m not much good until I get to the end. Therefore, Harry Potter, LOST, X-Files, any fantasy trilogy, and even the dramatically over-rated Twilight series had me all tied up in knots from start to finish. Obviously, my next series needs to NOT be a seven season show.

Sometimes I hesitate to talk about watching a long series like that. You know, perception management–I don’t want anyone to think that I spend all my time in front of the computer when I should be doing something more spiritual like reading my Bible or listening to a sermon series. Well, Duh! We could probably ALL spend more time reading our Bibles and listening to sermons! In my defense, I do most of this watching while folding laundry or working on my dreads. And that’s a LOT of time! 🙂 See? Perception management. You guys aren’t going to judge me though, are you? Are you???

Well that leads me to ask for input on my next series. What story is worth the investment of my brain energy during all those long hours folding and palm rolling? I’m thinking about Mad Men and I just might join Andy on the Arrested Development train.  A broken down Lord of The Rings marathon in also a possibility. Any other ideas?

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It was so needed.

It had been creeping up on me a little more each week, gnawing at my subconscious, belittling my defences and questioning my capabilities as a parent, a wife, a contributing member of society. At any given time, I had 14 games of Words with Friends going! App DELETED!

My froggydex on Pocket Frogs has 99 of the 100 challenges completed, and over 1500 frogs cleared in the froggydex. Only 18,000 to go!!! App Deleted!

Cut the Rope lost my data a while back, so I lost four boxes filled with all the stars and haven’t been able to get bak into that groove. App Deleted!

Touch Cats . . . .  Deleted!

Warship . . . .  Deleted!

Worms 2 . . . . . .  Deleted!

Chop Chop Ninja . . . . it just sounds so cute . . . . BALETED!

Then there’s my 10 different groups on Facebook, my Twitter feed, my Instagram feed, my Pinterest feed, and . . . . of course, my Star Trek re-runs. Even listing it out I’m amazed that I find time to absorb all of this! Not even to mention WHY, just HOW? How is my house not ten times worse than it already is? How are my children not running completely wild as opposed to only occasionally running wild? How am I surviving on the five hours a night I allow myself . . . well, the kids allow me as they drag me out of bed begging for breakfast?

I guess we should have spent more time before hand really delving into the motivations for this attempt, and dealing with possible resistance. It wasn’t  until we were neck deep in that we realized there would be some pretty formidable players in this tech free week game! Next time we will be better armed, better rationed, and among more companions. Next time we will have more players committed to the task. Is that confusing? I was on Ambien for some of this writing, so some things may have made perfect sense in my head but sound like utter nonsense when I re-read them. Actually, I’ve already had to re-write most of this and I’m just trying to salvage what I can. Stupid Ambien.  As most of this was written during the week, it’s in present tense that doesn’t make sense for right now–don’t let that confuse you.

Day 1: So How’s It Going?

Twitter, which I really only started to doing to stay in touch with Andy isn’t tempting me too much, but the Facebook is calling me LOUDLY!  I keet getting notifications on my phone! The red dot letting me know I’ve got messages or comments or something so utterly important is driving me nuts. I don’t miss the feed though. I never realized how much time I spent on the stupid feed.Already though, I’m feeling more free. Free from the iPhone games! Free to play checkers with Gillian and let her beg for two more games, even though I’m going to beat her at every one (not for much longer though!) I’m free to say yes when Liam asks to burry me in the sand on our date, even though I’m wearing my gym clothes! Free to let Eliot play in the kiddie pool because what else do I have to do but slather sun screen on to little kids?

I was free today to clean out our utility room and empty out this desk in there, extradite the spiders that had found sanctuary for several years and haul it up into the attic, Yes, by myself I might add, making me feel rather super-womanesqe and in turn rather annoyed that I couldn’t brag about it to the rest of the world out there.  I then hauled the new freezer (THANKS MOM AND DAD!!) in from the back porch and got it set up. BooYah! This girl’s guns are loaded! Woot Woot!

Dinner was actually ready when andy got home the schedule for the evening laid out nicely like the next day’s outfit .

We knew Bedtime would be a challenge. I’m stocked up on Ambien to ensure sleep, but that’s not to say there won’t be some weird side effets, like my face falling off or whatever. (What?! I just left that in there so you could see how weird I am on that stuff! There are all sorts of strange things that I wrote that had to be deleted-the post probably would have been a lot more entertaining had I left them here.)

Day 2: SUCKEDDDD!

Wow, about how much this day sucked. To explain why, I would really have to go into my expectations as I all but delivered them to God along with his invitation to join me in my little tech free week. The invite might have said something like, “In Honor of You Dude!” Can you imagine how pleased he was to be invited to an event where I would be naming off whimpy little sacrifice after whimpy sacrifice, followed by my perfectly reasonable expectations of what His response should be?

Needless to say, it didn’t start well. It’s not so much a matter of the temptation getting to hard–that is there–I had to jump on it once to talk to someone I hadn’t been able to connect with, but don’t feel badly about that. THe problem is the void, which I intended to fill with scripture, worship music, creativity, and productivity is being fought for. Hard. There seem to be a few powers out there that are pretty pleased with the amount of time I waste on insignificant media and they’re being duche bags (can I say that?) pretty much. Thankfully, I’ve got a good man who’s willing to come home early and help me do battle. 🙂 It was rough though-just some serious faith faltering on my part, a lot of depression and discouragement (not about the media, just in general), a bit of despondency, lots of crying and tossing about, not a pretty sight really.  It was crazy!

Day 3:

Whew! A much better day. Enjoying being off of a lot of that stuff really, but discouraged that I don’t have more time freeing up. I don’t know WHEN I did all that stuff before, because I’m still running out of time at the end of the day! It’s still almost 11:00 and I”m not asleep yet. Granted, 11:00 or even 11:30 is better than 1:30 or 2:00. There’s just all this pressure to be able to have a blog post at the end of this full of pictures and a grandiose list of all I accomplished during my media fast.  SIGH. (WHY AM I SO PEOPLE APPROVAL NEEDY!?)

Today the homeschooling reality started to creep up on my and I’m struggling to not freak out over all I have to try to get done in a day with two different grade levels AND a two foot tornado tearing through the house. I can’t think about that right now though. Tomorrow.

Day Four: I forgot to write anything about this day, so it mustn’t have been very notable.

Day Five: Went to spend the day with my folks, so I was plenty occupied without my media. The kids struggled a little (especially when they saw Grandad’s new flat screen t.v.)because there are obviously more restrictions to spaces and objects at their grandparent’s house, so it’s harder to keep them occupied without a movie, but we didn’t cave.

Day Six: I miss my blog. I’m not going to add the games back to my phone, and that feels good. It’s hard not to put the kids on a movie when I need some peace and quiet. They’re doing better though at using their imagination. It’s super fun to sit and listen to the games they make up when they’re forced to use their brain to entertain themselves rather then letting them just soak in nonsense.

Day Seven: We broke the fast a little early and let them watch a movie today. Had a major project to do and just couldn’t get anything done with the constant interruptions. I felt a little discouraged at that, like we hadn’t really learned anything if we just shoved a movie at them to keep them out of our hair.  How else does one get anything done?

Looking back at it a few days later, I’m not so discouraged. They’re running around shouting “activating sequel shooters!” and “suction to Malarky Mansion!” I don’t know what it means, but I love it! I don’t know that it’s possible to eliminate all the media from our lives, or that I would want to, but I would recommend a tech free week to anyone who’s feeling drained by all of the senseless distractions. I’d like to do it again soon for an extended time, if only I can find a loophole to keep writing my blog!

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I can’t write a new post right now because I’m using up all of my free time (and a little bit of time that isn’t free, and a lot of time that I should be trying to sleep) re-watching Star Trek the Next Generation of course! It’s now streaming on Netflix, as if you all didn’t know.

Sigh.

I know. I’m a nerd.

And to top it off, today, while sitting on the couch with my kidlets, me watching Netflix on my iPhone, Gill playing Plants vs. Zombies on the computer and Liam playing with his DS, it hit me that we are in too deep. I tell the kids to get ready to turn the games off and go get some books for some reading time. Liam lazily responds, “I don’t like reading.” GASP! Yes, homeschooling mamas, mourn with me. Commend me for not hiding my son’s shameful thoughts. “What!?” I asked a little too loudly. “Why not?!?” Without taking his eyes from the screen he says, “reading’s just sitting and doing nothing.”

Duh kiddo.

So next week we’re on a sort of vacation with family, and the next we’re going to Worship God ’12, but the following week, and I expect those of you who love me to keep me accountable, we are having a tech free week. From Aug. 14-20, we’re shutting it all down. If anyone has any resources on ideas for surviving such an endeavor, I’d love some help. It all sounds so grand and responsible right now, but I’m going to go nuts even more than the kidlets! Agh! I’ll keep you posted.

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